Our poor neglected blog shows how incredibly busy we have been. Well, also for awhile there was just not much to update or say. But, now we find ourselves preparing to pack to meet our precious M.
It has been a long, winding, and laborious road. We have spent many days wondering if we would even ever get to this point. During this journey we have grieved over the lost time with M as these are especially important developmental times in his life. He is 8, 151 miles from us! We are grateful for friends who have journeyed with us in prayer and encouragement during some of our lowest times and who have been there to rejoice with us in our times of victory. We are ever so anxious to get to him and not miss another day with him!
The time has come that we could leave very soon - in 2 to 4 weeks we believe! It is hard to believe that we are really here. We want to thank the Lord above all for His blessing and provision. However, as we prepare to leave we have had several sizable unexpected costs in addition to the already expected costs. We are trusting Him to continue to provide during these last few days in a big way.
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen! Ephesians 3:20-21
When we started on this adoption journey and began attending seminars and reading on raising the adopted child who has come from difficult circumstances one of the main things always brought up was attachment and bonding. One way to facilitate that is through baby wearing. So, I have always hoped to get a mei tai of some sort so that we can bond with our child better and give them the eye to eye contact they have missed out on for so long. I also like the wraps too though. I recently discovered an awesome combination of the two. And best of all it is good for toddlers as well, which is the age of the child we will be getting. I found Topa-Top on Etsy and instantly fell in love! They have beautiful patterns and colors to choose from. One of my favorite things they offer is the wide shoulder strap for comfort and the customization options. Top 3 reasons I love TopaTopSlings: 1. They promote attachment with your child 2. Beautiful colors and designs 3. Toddler size is an option they offer Please, check them out for yourself at www.TopaTopSlings.etsy.com
It has been a long time since we last blogged. But that doesn't necessarily mean nothing has happened. A lot has happened in our hearts. God has been at work in us, refining us to be all that He desires us to be. You know, we pray all the time for the Lord to mold us into the Godly people He wants to use and that we will be able to effectively lead our children to Him through Godly character and training in our home. I don't know why we are surprised when He actually does take a chisel to our hearts and re-mold them. It is a painful process. At this stage I can clearly see how He took Baby G and brought us to the place of total surrender. We thought we were there until we dealt with that loss. Isaiah 26:3 was so instrumental in our wait between Baby G and Baby M. "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." And also the story of Abraham putting Issac on the altar and trusting the Lord in Genesis 22 was huge in preparing our hearts for the blessing He had for us.
Well, on to the incredibly marvelous news! We have accepted a referral for a BEAUTIFUL little one and we are beyond excited! I'm not kidding, and this is no mama just bragging, this baby is a CUTIE PIE! I'm sure Baby M will be a head turner everywhere we go. And best of all, from what we have heard and seen Baby M has a happy, content heart. We have many steps to go through before we can call Baby M officially ours, but we are so excited to be on our way.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Yesterday we got the news that Baby G has been referred to another family. This entire process of accepting her, and then discovering that we may not get her, and then almost 2 full months later finding out that she won't be coming to our home has been emotionally draining. We had such joy and were so ready to make her our daughter. We became emotionally attached to her and loved her, despite never meeting her. We prayed, fasted, cried lots of tears, dreamed, and experienced lots of joy because of Baby G. This is much like a miscarriage. Losing her is hard. However, we do have the joy of knowing she is going to a home where she will no longer be an orphan. We hope and pray this is a very good home.
In our sorrow we were reminded that we are adopting because orphans need a home and we want to provide that home; not because we need to be parents, although we do desire and anticipate that. If she is getting a good home we have nothing to be sad about. She is getting exactly what we want her to have. In our hearts we have planned for her and loved her. Maybe we will meet her in heaven someday.
As for us, we will go back to the top of our agency's waiting list for another child or children who do still need a mom and dad. The Lord will place the children who need us in our home and we will love them and be just as excited about them. We do know that there are plenty of children who need homes and we will successfully be a loving home for someone/them. We look forward to that! I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. Jeremiah 31:13b
So that week of waiting to get baby G's records has long since come and gone. Once that week was up we were again told by our agency to wait. Maybe it will be this month they told us. Our agency assured us that they would call the orphanage and follow-up for us. After many anxious days of waiting, breaking down in tears, praying, and crying out to the Lord in hope and expectation, we finally got a call from Lisa. It was not good news. She said that the orphanage had told her that they were told to hold the information, but gave no reason or time frame. We have NO IDEA what is happening or why. After this Adam and I both emotionally had a melt down. We had just been SO HAPPY when we found out about baby G, and now we were in the pit with sorrow and grief. This has been and still is a very emotional time for us and a very difficult time.
We consider ourselves to be very strong believers, but when this happened I wondered how God could be in control. Was this too far from His reach, but He told me that His "hand is not too short to save" (Isaiah 59:1). And then I reasoned that if He could control this and was just choosing not to then how could He be good. But He reminded me even if He never did another thing for me that He had already shown me far more mercy than I ever had deserved by hanging on the cross for me. I then argued that He had had called us to this adventure, and if He was going to ask us to do something like this why wouldn't everything work out nice, neat, and speedily. He reminded me of others He had called like Jeremiah, Hosea, Paul, Stephen, and many others. The life He called them to was not easy or free of problems, in fact their lives became harder when they chose to obey the call. The Lord has asked us to just be still wait upon him (Psalm 37:7).
We don't know what we are waiting for or why, but what else can we do. So, we are waiting on Him. We are not good at waiting. This is a time of learning and growing for us and it is not fun or comfortable. My heart has ached and felt so broken much of the time. Tears are streaming down our faces much of time. But we are looking to Him and waiting to see His hand move at the time He chooses. However, I must say that Adam has been such a great support and encourager through all of this. Even though he is hurting too, when I lose hope and fall apart he is right there to pick me up and help me keep going. He is such a great blessing in my life and I don't know what I would ever do without him. The Lord has blessed me with such an incredible gift that I DO NOT take for granted. It reminds me that if He would give me such a wonderful husband, that He must have awesome kids for us too.
One thing I have prayed over G, even before I know her name, was that the Lord would send her guardian angel to watch over and protect her (Matthew 18:10). Tonight I found this Willow Tree that is called Guardian Angel. The second I saw it I knew it represented G and the stage we are in right now while we wait. Adam bought it and we have it displayed to remind us that the Lord is watching over and caring for our baby G while we wait for her.
The Kari Jobe song "Be Still" has been my theme song during this walk. Enjoy!
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; NO GOOD THING DOES HE WITHHOLD FROM THOSE WHOSE WALK IS BLAMELESS. Psalm 87:4
Finally, after being turned away on our last 2 attempts at completing our I-800 A appointment in Des Moines due to extremely cold temperatures and snow, we have successfully completed this process. Since we had just received our referral 5 days earlier for our precious baby G we were SUPER excited about this appointment because it felt like we were actually DOING something to move the process along. We asked some nice girls in the sky walk to snap our picture after our fingerprinting.
Also, it is special that this is also Adam's birthday. We went to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Adam's birthday and this step in our process. Ummm....I have to admit that at the mall we decided to use one of the expectant mothers parking places because, after all, we ARE expecting! We were so excited about expecting that we decided to take a picture of the parking spot. You may be thinking all sorts of things about this, but it is the little bits of faith and hope that are getting us through this process. For us, even parking there was an act of faith that we ARE INDEED EXPECTING.
We walked around in the mall and found the cutest birthday outfit for baby G in Dillard's. She just had her first birthday, so I broke down in tears in the store and we had to leave. All I could think about was how sad I was that we missed being with her on her birthday. I feel that this is the hardest part of international adoption - we miss out on so many important months and even years with our children because the process is too long. On the way home we decided to stop at another mall and Adam found a cute pair of P.J.'s with princess crowns on them and we bought them for her. It is the first thing he has actually picked out by himself for her, so someday that will be special for her to know. Lisa told us we should have her medical information and picture within 1 week of February 20th (when she called us about G) and we are nearing the end of a week of waiting and very anxious for this to come.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8
As I write this my heart is just overflowing with joy and excitement! Last evening the phone rang and I saw it was America World. A million things went through my head concerning why they might be calling. I admit that a referral was one of those fleeting thoughts before I answered, but I thought to myself, "no, it is too quick for that to happen" and I answered. Lisa said, "Ummm, Janie, we have a 12 month old baby girl for you and Adam to consider." I was just SHOCKED! It was dark because I had been watching "When Calls the Heart" and had the lights off. I scrambled for a scrap of paper to write on as she told me the details. She said that according to our dossier paperwork only us and another couple were willing to take a child with her disability and that we were further in the process, so we had first chance. She said we had 1 hour to decide because the paperwork had to be in India by the time the office in India opened. Adam was away for work, so I told her I would have to call him and talk to him. I dialed him and no answer! I did this again 3 times and my mom was buzzing in while I was trying to call him. I quickly answered her and told her what was going on and that I could not get Adam to answer. Then I quickly called a dear friend and asked her to join our bible study group up by phone and to start praying. Adam still would not answer his phone and my heart was racing. I looked up his hotel on-line and they would not pick up at the desk either. I was growing anxious and called again. Finally they answered and connected me to his room. His room mate answered and said Adam was at the hotub, "wait, he is coming through the door now!" Adam picked up the phone and said I will call you back on my cell phone. When we finally connected and I told him about this baby girl he was a shocked as I was. We prayed. I asked him how he felt because we were expecting a sibling group. He said all he could think of was Hosea 14:3 "In you the orphan finds mercy" and he asked how I felt. I said while we expected siblings I was super excited and overjoyed to think of making her our beloved daughter and I was for it. I waited for Lisa to call back and told her it was a yes for us. She said she thought it was the right decision too and that she has seen God work everything out perfectly in every case. I spent the rest of the evening thanking the Lord for her and praying. I googled her name and the meaning and everything that we knew so far about this little pumpkin. I googled images of Indian babies her age and looked at the first birthday pictures we had of an Indian baby we are an auntie and uncle to. She was the last thing on my mind as I went to bed and the first thing on my mind this morning. I can't wait to get this process in over-drive and get her into our arms!
Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him
Today Adam took off a whole day of work
for the second time to try to get our fingerprints for the I 800-A. I took off
work for the first try, and today I was really sick and needed to study for a
big exam that is tomorrow. We called
multiple times trying to make sure the office was going to be open because we
knew the weather was supposed to get bad tonight. The message kept telling us that they were
"operating under normal conditions".
The building where we have to get this done is a long distance from our
home, and so to go there and travel back home it is a whole day journey. Today we were at the desk at 11:50 AM. Our appointment was at 12 noon. They told us that they were closing at 12
noon and would not take us because at 11:40 AM they had announced they were
closing and turned off all the machines!
Argh! We explained how we had
made this trip last month and the same thing had happened. I was thinking in my mind, "it couldn't
take that long to turn the machines on, could it? Do you know how much time it takes us to make
this trip? Do you know how much in wages
we lose when we make this trip?"
They smiled and said they would mail out a new appointment. We were SO frustrated. The weather was not even bad yet. We were standing right there at the desk and
they gave practically no notice of closing.
I don't know why these things happen.
But I do know that the Lord has said, "Here
on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome
the world.” John 16:33
Yes, in know in my heart this won't be
the last trial we face in this adoption process. Adoption is hard, and one must be fully
committed to it in order to see it through.
It is not for the faint of heart.
And I am sure we will face much greater sorrows and trials in the
process. But, the reward of children is
great and what we will face is a small price to pay compared to the joy of
adoption. And there is a greater promise
in that verse, too. The king of kings has adopted us as His own dear children. And He went to much greater lengths than we
will ever be asked to in order to adopt us.
He is our Father. And He has
overcome this world that is full of "trials and sorrows". We can look forward to the great hope of
someday living in a world that is free of these things with our Father in heaven. And until then, we will plan to make yet a
third trip so they can capture these precious fingerprints of ours.
As we began the new year, we excitedly prepared for the last piece of our dossier! Our I-800A appointment was set for January 6th. We both had to take off of work. We didn't want to run into any kind of trouble, and since we didn't know where the office was located and we had other dossier related appointments for that day as well, we decided to spend the night in Des Moines. What a COLD DAY! It was insane. You can see from the pictures we took of the t.v. below that the temperatures were nearly unbearable.
To start off the day we had a 7:30 AM appointment to get a whole box of dossier documents notarized. We spent about 1 hour signing our names over and over. The notary was sweet enough to take this pictures of us after we finished all of our signing.
Then we were headed for the Office of the Secretary of State to get these freshly notarized documents apostilled. What a thrilling journey because we knew we were inching toward the dossier finish line!
After getting our documents picked up (and nearly freezing to death) we went to our I-800 A appointment. We had to park about 2 blocks away and walk in the freezing weather. Our eyes were watering so much from the cold wind that we could barely see to make our way into the building. Once we reached the safety of the building we were abruptly met with a security guard informing us that the building was closed and our appointment was cancelled due to the cold weather. Our hearts sank and we tried to explain how we had both taken the day off of work (unpaid) to make this appointment. We had driven 250 miles round trip and spent the night to make sure we didn't miss this appointment. It didn't matter. Only the security guard wasthere
and we had to leave. So, on our way back out we went. We did have a
good time together shopping and ate at Cheesecake Factory. Then we went
back home. We did have a lot of work left to accomplish to get the dossier in the mail. We went to work on making the copies.
We thought we would go crazy! We had to make 10 copies and we had 6 originals because of trying to get a sibling group of up to 4 children. There were SO many papers everywhere and it was so hard to sort and organize everything properly. Finally, the day came (01/27/14) that we finally put our dossier in the mail! YAY! What was really cool was that we asked the post lady if we could take her picture as she took our package. She told us of how she had been adopted as an infant and her experience. It was like a confirmation of just knowing that God is in control.
Our dossier- Signed, Sealed, and Delivered!
We can’t help but wonder what 2014 will bring to our
family. Janie has begun her last
semester of school. In May she will
finally be a Family ARNP! This year will
likely bring a referral, and maybe even our children! February 4, 2014 we have our appointment with
USCIS in Des Moines. Hopefully we will
have good weather this time.
Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and plead the widow's cause.
