Official Hague Approval for India Adoption Granted

                                                                                        

                                              

We have not updated our blog in a while, but here we are.  This is a really slow process (AKA a very LONG paper-based pregnancy).  One of the hardest things about international adoption is that there is no due date you can count on.  At least with pregnancy you know a ballpark time frame, whereas with international adoption there are so many steps that could hold things up (or speed them up-this is what we hope for...lol) that one just really does not know when it will finally happen.  It really forces one to fully rely on the timing of the Lord, because only His hand can move things along in India and only He knows when it will happen.  Most of the time we feel totally helpless in this process because really we have little to no control over any of it.

We had an America World update conference call a few weeks back.  They had their India representative to speak about what we can expect to happen during the process and the different ways that we might get referrals.  It was good to review some of the information we had heard before and we also gained valuable knowledge concerning the future process. 

Our biggest news is that yesterday we received our official approval for India Hague adoption in the mail!!!  This means that we should be registered with India’s Central Adoption Resource Authority any day now.  It also means that we are officially eligible to receive referrals, although it is unlikely that we will get a referral anytime very soon.  Still, just knowing we could is exciting!

While the next phase is exciting, it is also very expensive.  It is not the most exciting part to think about;  but thinking (and mostly praying) about it is a must.  We have already spent several thousand dollars, which doesn't even scratch the surface on the final cost.  Part of the reason our financial needs are so great is that we are preparing a dossier (the huge file of official documents that gets sent to India) for four children.  We have said in our home study that we would be open to a sibling group of up to four children, so that means we have to prepare quadruple of all the paperwork, 
notarizations, apostilles, etc.  The paperwork part of this is very costly.  

If we actually get a referral for four, we will of course have to get 4 passports, plane tickets, etc.  Honestly, we do not have the finances at our disposal to complete the next step.  We are fully relying on the Lord to provide as He has been faithful to do thus far.  We are open and appreciative to anyone who is willing to help in any amount.  We have a donate tab to use on this blog for those who are interested.  We also covet your prayers for our future children and this whole adoption process.         

On another note, this past weekend we were so thrilled and honored to able to join in on the first birthday festivities for Aneekah.   She is the precious daughter of our dear friends Vineeth and Sarah.  There were a lot of darling Indian children at the party, and we thoroughly enjoyed it.  Actually, we were both dreaming of the day we arrive at the orphanage and see a room full of children like the ones at the party.  We talked about how those children will likely respond the way some of the children at the party did; they will cry when we pick them up and be somewhat afraid at first.  We joyfully look forward to them bonding with us and us bonding with them as we become a family.

Aneekah on her birthday

 Aneekah one year later...

The latest Indian fellowship gatherings have been wonderful.  We are really enjoying the friendships we are establishing there. 

Some of the dishes I made for the gatherings included samosas with mint chutney (which was a LOT of work, but it turned out delicious and perfect), 

tandoori chicken , and fruity rice dessert.  I would say that my Indian cooking skills are increasing and improving.  I am so happy about this because I want to be able to cook traditional Indian foods for our kids and I want to teach our daughters to cook their native dishes.

Thanks to all who are reading this because you are walking through this life-changing and exciting time with us!

My times are in Your hands… Psalm 31:15

Ups and Downs

     This month has brought a lot of ups and downs, worry and peace, and prayer and praise.  Our adoption agency had sent out an email saying that they were dropping their India program.  This happened on the same day we were rejoicing over completing our home study.  We went from peace and joy to worry and stress to peace again.  On some days we trusted in the Lord, and on other days we asked the Lord to forgive our unbelief (Mark 9:24).  We had just sent in a sizeable payment to the agency that was dropping their program and we were unsure if we would get the money back so we could continue on with another agency.  We also were unsure how we would come up with that money again because the money that we had sent in was Christmas bonuses and tax refunds.  Sometimes we gave it over to the Lord in faith that He was Jehovah Jireh our Provider, and on the same day we did that we would take it back again to worry over.  But, of course, once again our Lord has proven Himself good and faithful to us.  We were refunded our payment and we have been able to make our first payment to our new agency.  He is so good and merciful even when His children are obstinate and unbelieving during the storm.  We are so thankful that we are now able to move on with our adoption process.   

     We rarely take vacations, but this past Independence Day we were able to take a short trip to Chicago and see some friends who are living in Bangalore, India.  Greg and Terri were in the states for just a few short weeks and we had a wonderful time visiting with them for a couple of days.       We also were able to visit Little India and eat some great Indian food.  We saw so many precious Indian children in Chicago and I had to dote on every one I saw.  This was the highlight of the trip for me.  Adam enjoyed watching the fireworks display from the 41^st floor of our hotel room the best.  It was very beautiful and stress free. 

We also recently enjoyed another time of Indian fellowship here in Cedar Rapids.  We are so thankful for these relationships.  This time I made mango custard and I tried my hand at making masala dosa for the first time.     Pictures of my dishes are above.

    

We had a wonderful sermon based on 1 Corinthians 13.  I am so happy that the Lord has provided this fellowship for our children to enjoy and to enter into their birth culture.  We look forward to the one in August.

      

Finally, I completed my summer residency a few days ago!  I have a few days of vacation time until the fall semester begins.  I only have 9 more months to go before graduation.  I was able to bring home some suturing supplies and show off my skills to my mom and Adam.  Yes, I practiced on a chicken.  Lol…

Psalm 143:1

 O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days June 18, 2013

 Aside from the psychological evaluations, this was the most stressful day of our home study.  This was the day that we would complete our last required visit with our social worker and this visit was in our home.  This meant hours of cleaning and preparing.  Adam took an extra day off work to help me get everything ready and to get the outdoor chores completed.  We stayed up late the night before and got up at the crack of dawn to vacuum the floors  one more time, give the girls (AKA Bella and Camilla) a bath and brush out, and make Indian chai to serve.  We carefully placed the Indian candy and cookies on our best silver serving tray and had the tea cups and saucers out.  We anxiously peered out the window to see if we could see an unfamiliar car coming down the road yet. 

And finally, the time came.  Robin pulled into our driveway and parked.

As she entered the front door we were most concerned about the girls barking and making the visit difficult.  They certainly surprised us with model behavior and they warmed right up to her.  Robin and the girls got along quite nicely (it was a great relief to us that she loves dogs).  She asked us many questions about child care arrangements, schooling, discipline, family feelings regarding adopted children, and cultural teaching.  We discussed fire escape plans, tornado shelter plans, fire and carbon monoxide alarms, and who would raise our children should something ever happen to the both of us.  She asked how many children, what ages, and what special needs we would consider.  She then toured our home (closets, garage, and all).  The visit went very smoothly.  Once she left we went to our favorite Indian Restaurant to celebrate the accomplishment of finishing our part of the home study.  Now she just needed to write it up for us.

We returned home and checked our email as usual.  There was one email there that was from our placing agency and it said it was “important news”!  I called Adam to come and we opened it together.  The email stated that they were closing their India program and the India director was now with another agency.  We were invited to a conference call the next day for more information.  What was a day of celebration turned into panic and worry.  Adam and I both took off work to pray about this and attend the meeting by phone.  Our wonderful India director had worked an arrangement for all India program families to easily transfer to the new agency.  Monday, June 17^th we had an appointment to speak to the director.  I was not off work yet, so Adam came to the hospital to meet with me so I could be in on the meeting with him.  The director really reassured us of the changes that were happening.  So, that evening we sent our application for the other placing agency.  We feel like this will be a positive change and the new agency is a Christian agency, which we also like.  So, now we are with a different agency! 

Chai and Curry June 1, 2013

 Adam and I have been a part of the Indian Community in our area since moving here.  God has given us a passion and love for India and we know that He has called us to India (or Indians).  We were invited to a special Indian fellowship at the home of a dear Indian family.  



A pastor and his wife from Tamil Nadu were special visitors.  We had a wonderful time of hearing the Word preached by the pastor and his wife, worship in English and Tamil, an Indian potluck, and of course a wonderful time of fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  My heart was so thankful towards the Lord because I know that this will be such a blessing to our children.  They will have Godly uncles, aunties, and cousins who are Indian. 

We really loved watching the precious children.  Each child was asked to tell what they were thankful for.  I am really impressed with the way these children are raised to be so respectful.  I have a feeling these ladies will be a great help to me as a new mother once the kids come home.  We have invited them to walk alongside us in this journey.  We talked about arranged marriages, raising bilingual children, and many more things that we have been concerned about.  One thing that I really loved was that all the children take piano and violin lessons.  One child excitedly and proudly used his talents for worship.  The mothers expressed how these were things the children could use for the rest of their lives to worship God.  This is exactly what I have always believed about music lessons for kids.  I felt like we were really on the same page as far as parenting goes.  What a comfort this is to my heart as we really don’t have family close by to help us out.  Perhaps they will become our extended family, and how happy we will be for our kids to grow up with close relationships with other Indians.

For the potluck I brought one of Adam’s very favorites…Indian rice pudding.  It was a hit, especially with the kids.  The recipe is as follows:

Cook 3 cups of dry Basmati rice (be very careful to not overcook it)

Let this rice cool. 

Bring 2 cups evaporated milk to a boil in a large pan

Add rice (I only used about ¾ of the rice)

When it begins to thicken add 3 cans coconut milk, 1 ½ cups golden raisins, crushed cardamom to taste, and 1 cup of sugar.  When it thickens again add pistachios, 1 pint of half and half and mix.  Refrigerate with plastic wrap touching the top so a film will not form. 

You may add more or less sugar, depending on your taste.  I advise to add a little at a time until it is like you like it and the same with the cardamom.  You may like less or more than we do. 

“You are the helper of the fatherless. Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.”   Psalms 10:14, 17-18

Rachna recites John 3:16-19 - May 1, 2010

Sneha: "They Chose Me" - May 1, 2010 Adoption Song

Sandeep's Powerful Life Story - May 1, 2010

News from Chicago

Many things have been transpiring since our last post. I have been so very busy with school and Adam has been working so much that it has been difficult to find the time to document the latest progress.  We are in Chicago tonight writing this post.  We just completed our first full day of the Empowering to Connect Karyn Purvis Conference.  WOW was it good and deep!  What we really took away tonight was that in order for us to be the parents we can be we must first allow the Lord to heal all of our inner hurts and issues with our own childhoods.  This was really powerful because even in good families there are levels of dysfunction that affect children and we all have areas that need to be recognized and dealt with.  We can't wait for tomorrow.  It was so neat to be in a huge room full of people who either had adopted or are adopting.  We met some really nice people.  Here we are at the conference in our India Adoption shirts.  The next picture is of us sitting in bed writing this post.

We recently got our test results back from our second psychological exam.   We will be going for personal interviews next week.  That should be interesting.  We also received the paperwork we need in order to complete our dossier (YAY!). It actually does not look as daunting as we had feared.

We have been planning on applying for grants, so naturally we had been asking the Lord to provide financially for our next step.  We got a letter from the IRS and we were worried.  We opened it and to our surprise we were going to get back DOUBLE what we were anticipating on getting!  We are so incredibly thankful to the Lord for His faithfulness because we now have the money we need for the next step.  

We are coming upon our 12th anniversary.  We knew when we married that we wanted time to build a strong foundation and relationship.  We feel we have done that and we have enjoyed our time as a couple.  We still do.  But we also believe that this has helped better prepare us for this next stage of life as parents.  

Even though I may not be having morning sickness or craving peanut butter on pickles, we are definitely in the midst of a waiting and growing process as we prepare for the Lord to bless us with the little ones He has chosen for us.

The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.  Psalm 145:17-19

Making Progress

It has been awhile since we updated our adoption progress, so I thought we would catch things up to speed. We are currently in the process of completing our home study.  I am so glad that we were able to find the social worker that we did, because I had heard horror stories.  I think anytime you are letting a stranger into your life who is going to ultimately determine whether you are fit to be parents or not  and who is going to know all of your personal business there is naturally a level of anxiety.  But, the one we are working with is actually close by so we don't have to pay mileage.  But, more importantly she has been doing this for over 20 years.  She is very sensible, practical, and easy to talk to.  We feel very blessed to be working with her. 

So far we have completed one of the three required home study visits, our psychological evaluations, and a required meeting where we meet others in the process of adoption or post-adoption.  As our reference letters have been streaming in it has been humbling and encouraging to read the kind words people had to say.  We truly do desire to be excellent, loving parents to the children the Lord blesses us with.

February 19th and 20th was the International Meet on Adoption in India.  We spent the month leading up to the meetings in prayer for good decisions to be made.  We are really anxious to hear what happened and even more anxious to see how things go with those ahead of us in the process when India opens adoption again in March.  We are believing for good things!

I am trying to resist the urge to buy things for our babes, but sometimes I feel the need to buy things in faith that this is really happening.  So, I got two of the cutest dresses (made in India) from Baby Gap.  We have purchased everything in pairs so far because we are believing that the Lord has twins for us. 

Monday is Adam's 32nd birthday.  We always knew that we would probably have our first child in our 30's.  We can't wait until our precious little ones are here to celebrate life with us!  It is funny how one can not even know someone, but think about them every day.  I often wonder if our babes are born or even conceived yet.   Wherever they are, I hope and pray that they are safe and loved.  We are supposed to get a big snow, so the last day or two I have been thinking of the fun we would have sledding with them. 

Well, until next time....The Hughes Family